Only an Option For The Wealthy? Nonsense!

I came across this article in Newsweek about homeschooling. What I wanted to respond to was the comments.

Over and over, I saw the refrain, "Homeschooling is only a viable option for affluent, 2 parent households, because one parent needs to stay home to school the kids."

Nonsense. 

I am a single, working mother.  I homeschool.  I have made it work.  Oh, and I am far from rich.  Far, far from rich.

In today's world, I don't see any reason for a mother to have to leave her kids at home to work at a job 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  There are too many options these days to work at home, or create a flex time position, or work graveyards. Even if Mom does have to work outside the home, with support from the community and her child care providers, she can still successfully homeschool. 

I work from home as a bookkeeper and virtual assistant.  I work outside the home a few hours a day, but not much.  Schoolwork is set the night before, and sometimes the kids stay up late in their rooms to do it, other times they get up early and get it done.  Total daily time on formal lessons?  Less than 2 hours.  We're done before lunch, and then I get to shoo them outside to play (PE!) for the rest of the day while I work.

Since I don't work outside the home every day, I don't have to drive as often, nor do I have to have expensive business clothing and shoes.  I can also plan and prepare meals, which keeps the grocery bill low.  I do work about 6 hours a day, 6 days a week. 

My son attends Cub Scouts, and my daughter is in ballet, jazz, and modern dance at a local studio.  I do the books for the studio to pay for her dance.  Both kids attend a math learning center - again, paid for with trade work (yup, I do their books too). 

We love hitting yard sales, and were delighted to find a student microscope at a yard sale for $10.  They have examined almost anything you can put on a slide and are constantly looking for new things to examine.

Kids love to learn.  They want to learn, as long as that love of learning isn't killed.  I put my focus on reading, writing, math, grammar, history, and language, and more or less get out of the way for the rest.

Khan Academy offers a huge number of no-cost videos and self-test, mostly on math and science.  I log them in and let them go to it.  They love it.

If you want to teach your kids at home, there is always an option.  Always.  It may involve some creative thinking, but there are options.

This Is My Joy!

What joy it is to see my kids learning!  Yesterday, I caught Mercedes helping Jared with his math work.  They were sitting on the couch, and she was teaching him.  Not only are they learning math, but they are developing a relationship that will last for a lifetime and beyond. 

Of course, this was after I was helping her figure out a problem that involved figuring out how many cookies were eaten at a party.  There were 8 boxes of 12 cookies brought.  How many were brought?  Her answer: "8 dozen."  Can you tell she likes to bake?  LOL!

I am so excited as history progresses.  We are reaching the important developments that lead to the American Revolution.  They are enjoying their reading, which excites me to no end.  I keep telling them there is so much to learn, so much to figure out, so much to find! 

Dealing with Sick Kids and Mom's Work Schedule

Mercedes has had the flu all weekend.  Bless her heart.  She's slept all weekend long, and I've been pumping fluids (and Tylenol) into her.  She flopped on the couch most of the day. 

However, I had to go to Salt Lake to clean an office for a client.  So I hauled the kids along with me.  I'm so glad I did - the job went so much faster with their help!  Mercedes vacuumed the floors, Jared helped me polish the furniture and take out the trash, and instead of the 2 hour job it would have been, we were done in 20 minutes. I was able to get back early, get my grandson from public school, and meet with my business partner an hour before I would have without their help!

Jared diligently did his schoolwork.  Mercedes, like I said, flopped on the couch and watched Harry Potter.  But, as I said, she's not feeling well, so I didn't worry about it too much today.  If they'd gone to public school, they'd have been in Valentines Day parties all day long, anyway. 

It was nice to be able to teach - and show - them that their efforts are valuable.  This is real-life stuff here.  And that's what I want them to learn! 

Different Methods of Homeschooling

Just as every family is different, every homeschooling family uses different methods with their children.  There are rigid school-at-home-ers (wow, that's convoluted!), the eclectic homeschoolers, the unschoolers, and so forth.  There's classical homeschoolers who use A Well Trained Mind  or Charlotte Mason or A Thomas Jefferson Education as their curriculum.  There are advocates of child-led education.  I tend to use a mix.

My primary inspiration, and the book I go back to when I feel like I need to get "back on track" is A Well Trained Mind.  I do not follow it strictly.  For one thing, I am a very busy single mother - I basically have 2 jobs, one outside the home for a couple hours a day, and another that I mostly do at home.  Either way, when I'm working, I'm WORKING.  (The ex didn't understand it - part of the reason he's the ex.  Bless his heart.)  Because of all this, I have to schedule time to take an afternoon off to have a field trip with the kids, and I need my kids to be very independent workers.  I just don't have time to molly-coddle them.

Hanging out learning about nature.

Also because I work all the dang time, I'm not able to "present lessons" the same way other classical homeschoolers are able to.  History is the only "lesson" I'm able to present on a regular basis.  (We use Story of the World right now.)  I have the kids read classics that go with history, and write narrations about what they read, then correct spelling and grammar and have them re-write it correctly.

I outline for them what I expect them to do that day, and they are able to ask me questions about their assignments when I'm working my WAH job.

The wonderful part of it is that they learn quickly how to be truly self sufficient.  Mercedes is a perfectionist by nature, but by learning to ask questions and daring to make mistakes, she's learning to learn.

Jared has learned to find the answers he needs in rather *ahem* unconventional ways - he's notorious for finding Mercedes' old workbooks and then copying them.  Argh!

Because my youngest kids have never been to school, I haven't had to cope with the necessity of "de-schooling," or allowing time for them to decompress after being removed from public school.  We do have times of burn out, for them and for me, when I feel like the best thing I can do is have them play as much as possible.  We have dolls, dollhouses, K'nex, Legos, magnets - and that's a great time to do science experiments that are noisy and messy, like the Diet Coke and Mentos experiment.

If you're planning to begin homeschooling, start with the books listed above, as well as John Taylor Gatto's writings.  And feel free to ask me questions!

Creating Closeness

One of the reasons I choose to homeschool my children is to create a much closer relationship with them than I had with my older three.  My kids are closer to each other and to me. 

It's hard NOT to be close to the kids when I'm their mother, their teacher, their chauffeur.... Because I'm the one that's always there, I'm the one they turn to all the time. 

I also make a point of being emotionally available.  Well, as far as I can be (I tend to be rather distant).  When the kids need my attention, I try to give them my full attention and take care of them.  The result is a much closer relationship than many families have. 

Of course, I'm always open for ideas to create even more closeness.  I love my kiddos and I love teaching them.  It brings me such joy!

"How do you get your kids to clean?'

I was recently asked this when I was bragging about keeping my home neat using the Flylady program. 


I don't get my kids to clean.  I ask them to clean up after themselves.  Right now, that's a challenge in and of itself.  It's not their job to be my maids any more than it's my job to be theirs. 

I ask them to put their own laundry away, clear their own plates from the table, and bring the laundry downstairs.  They are to keep their own rooms clean, and clean up their own dirty clothes out of the bathroom when they're done with baths.  They make their own beds and change their own sheets. 

I occasionally ask them to take out the garbage, and they think loading the dishwasher and doing laundry is pretty cool.  So I let them do that, and praise them to the skies when they do.

I remind them often that "housework done improperly still blesses the family" and, while I do teach the correct way to clean things, I also tell them that it doesn't have to be perfect.  Just better. 

And I never, ever use cleaning as a punishment.  I want them to like cleaning!  I use it as a reward!  I also never nag them about any jobs more than putting their own things away.  You know, teaching them to take care of their own messes is teaching responsibility.  Ultimately, if everyone cleans up after themselves, there's not much left to do!

I talk to them about how much better the house (or their rooms) feel when it's clean.  It's so much nicer to be able to walk around barefoot without stepping on Legos and getting hurt.

I let them see how hard I work.  I talk to them about my routines and Flylady.  "See?  Flylady says to shine my sink - I guess I'd better go do that!"

And I help them declutter.  Mercedes just went through her clothes and got rid of everything that she doesn't love or that is too small.  Jared got rid of some toys he doesn't like any more because he's outgrown them.  Clutter can't be organized, just gotten rid of. 

Most importantly, I set the example.  When I was messy, so were they.  When I'm working at FLYing, so do they, and without any prodding from me. 

So start with making them responsible for their OWN things and let them grow into the routines.  And remember - they aren't interested in cleaning the house, you are.  Show them how desirable a clean, neat house is, and they'll follow through on that.

Getting too busy!

This past couple of weeks I've moved my office back into my home, leaving me with both more time and more demands on that time.  It's hard to juggle housekeeping, paid work, homeschooling, and recreation sometimes.  However, nothing is more rewarding than having the kids laying in the living room (where my office is) working on schoolwork while I do my bookkeeping. 

I love being a homeschooling mom. 

Worried about Homeschooling? Relax!

Really.  Relax.

We homeschooling parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves.  Society puts a fair amount of pressure on us as well.  Do our children have the social skills requisite for success?  Do they interact well with their peers?  Are they learning everything everyone else seems to think they need to know?  And....how are we going to teach them calculus?

First - remember that most learning occurs from a child-led perspective.  That doesn't mean complete parental hands-off, but it does mean that when your child shows an interest in something, let them satisfy that interest.  Are they interested in gemstones and crystals? Have them grow rock candy to see how crystals form.  Buy them some interesting rocks at a metaphysical shop.  Show them geodes, and maybe even go rock-hounding with them.

We just finished studying Galileo and Copernicus.  Jared is very interested now in the solar system, stars, and telescopes.  We'll go to the planetarium, head out to the West Desert here in Utah to look at the stars, get pictures of the planets for his room, make a mobile of the solar system.

The point here is that ... kids will learn.  All a parent really has to do is give them the tools to do it.  Homeschool doesn't necessarily mean "school at home" - and by relaxing about school, my kids have more freedom to explore what they want to learn.

Oh, and calculus?  Learn it right along with the kids, find someone who is good at it and can teach it, use a homeschool co-op, or allow them to dual-enroll with the high school or community college.  You don't have to know everything - or even very much! to homeschool effectively.

So relax!  If you're putting any effort at all into your kids' education, odds are pretty good you're going to do better than the government schools ever could

What? Me, Organized?

I was telling a friend of mine about my day.  Honestly, I don't think I do that much more than any other mom - I just keep my kids close to me while I do it.  I get up the same time as everyone else (7ish - 8ish), get the kids ready for the day, give them their lessons, work, and keep my house (reasonably) clean. 

Her reaction was, "Wow, you must be so organized!"

Well, I am, in my work life.  My desk is clean and organized - it has to be for me to keep my clients happy. 

My organization starts the night before.  I have a rule that I don't go to bed until the house is cleaned up - not perfect, but tidied.  I want the bathroom where the kids take their baths cleaned, laundry in the hampers, the kitchen cleaned from dinner, the dining room table cleared, and the living room picked up.  It takes me about 20 minutes to get all this done. 

Then I decide what clothes I want to wear the next day, and make sure they're in good repair. 

Everything I need for the next day, I set on my desk or place by the front door.  Do I know where my keys and purse are?

I spend a little time pampering myself, meditating, catching up on my leisure reading, and I'm ready for bed. 

All of a sudden, the next morning is easy!

Thanks to FlyLady, who taught me the way. 

Why do YOU homeschool?

I'm often asked why I homeschool my kids.  I have a number of reasons. 

• I can get through the curriculum at a faster pace than the schools can, and in fewer hours per day.
• We have more flexibility in the curriculum.  My kids are learning Spanish and I'm looking into Latin.
• I can provide one-on-one instruction.
• I have a job that allows me enough flexibility that I can devote blocks of time to my kids.
• It eliminates the homework battle. No more sending the kids to school 6 hours a day to end the day with another couple of hours of homework. 2-3 hours and we're done. 
• I'm more efficient than the schools.
• My oldest child was routinely verbally abused by a teacher in the 4th grade.  As a parent, my kids aren't my job, they're my future.  I don't need to waste my time undoing the damage bad teachers cause. The teachers only have them for 9 months, anyway - I have responsibility for them for 18 years.
• We can actually discuss God and religion in the context of history (and anywhere else), providing a more complete education.  Really - you can't get through history without talking about God and religious devotion.  Religion has dramatically influenced history.
• Speaking of history - there's a whole bunch of it before the landing of the Mayflower.  My kids are as familiar with Julius Caesar as they are with George Washington.
• The kids are comfortable speaking to adults, and enjoy playing with kids of all ages.  The schools segregate by age.
• If anyone's going to brainwash my kids, it's going to be me.  I don't want the kids being taught the political nonsense du jour. 
• Mercedes and Jared are closer to each other than most siblings.  They are also close to their nephews.  We enjoy a more tightly knit family than many others.
• They actually know how to play!  I don't have to plan every spare moment for them - so they know how to entertain themselves.  Legos, reading, dolls.

The only downside I've been able to come up with is that I miss out on the full time, government provided babysitter.   Fortunately, my oldest daughter (23) is able to fill in and help out.  (She was educated in the government schools, though, so I'm still having to teach her writing and math.)

Kicking things off

My sweet #1 Grandson

My grandson, Ryan, started kindergarten today.  He was so proud!  I am looking forward to seeing how well he does at school.  He isn't a very social boy, so I think school may be just the thing for him, at least for a while. 

I went over the expectations for the year with Mercedes and Jared.  We discussed "life skills" or "home ec" or whatever you want to call it.  I had Mercedes wash the sheets on her bed and put them back after they dried - she was so proud of her abilities to run the washer and dryer herself.  Part of "school" this year will be for them to plan and cook a meal once a month (each).  Hopefully I can keep them from making hugely fattening foods! 

Jared proudly finished his 1st grade math book today.  He refused to start on 2A until he was done with 1B.  Interesting!

Mercedes is going to be a handful.  I am having trouble getting her to focus. 

And the adventure continues!

And the drama begins....

This time it's Jared.  He's "lost" his schoolwork twice already - left it at his dad's house once, and "couldn't find it" today.  The ironic thing is that he really likes school, especially math.

Mercedes is starting to really get on it.  I'm so proud of her for her hard work.  She's still struggling with reading words that aren't there, and guessing at the words, but she's doing well.

Setting up routines

Probably the most challenging part of homeschooling to me is getting routines set up.  Getting up, working out, "doing school," getting to work, getting work actually done, cooking dinner, cleaning house.  I have a control journal, but it's been tough remembering to do everything every day. 

The nice thing, though, is that as the routines fall into place, one thing at a time, there is actually less to do.  I don't mind washing three dishes nearly as much as I mind washing three days worth (or dishes for a family of 10, Mom.)  I don't mind mopping the floor if I know it just gets mopped every Monday.  Less at one go, although more little tasks every day.

And, I just realized I have to order a new history book.  I didn't realize we were almost done! 

Don't talk to strangers?

I was just reading Lenore's blog over at Free Range Kids and was interested in the post on Stranger Danger. 

I'm a free range mom.  I parent under the belief that I am to work myself out of a job.  By the time my kids are 18 or so, they should be able to take care of themselves (and me, as I tell them!).  Because I don't hover every single stinking minute, I've taught my kids what to do when they get lost.

Find a store employee. 

Find an adult (mom or dad) with kids. 

Find a police officer or store security.

I've talked to them about people I've seen that scare me.  Not too many of those, but I've told them that when they have a bad feeling about something, pay attention.  That's their intuition warning them about something or someone.

It's a good feeling to be paged over the store's intercom because the kids got turned around in the toy section and promptly went to the checkout stand to page Mom.  It's good, because I know they know what to do in a potentially frightening situation. 

Update on Mercedes' trip

It's been quiet this week at the Harris household.  (I guess I should put Vazquez in there because my kids are surnamed Vazquez, but I'm a Harris, and as the head of the household, that stands, LOL)

Jared asked to call Mercedes last night.  She said she was waiting her turn on her grandma's trampoline, and all her cousins were there.  It sounds like she's having a blast.  I sure hope Denise is taking lots of pictures! 

I asked Jared today if he was enjoying having Mercedes gone, and he said, "Nah, I miss her." 

In the meantime we're cleaning out her room and getting part of it redecorated.  I can only manage a few things at a time, so it will be a process.  Budget's pretty tight.