Can You Homeschool As A Working Mother?

"I teach them correct principles, and they govern themselves."  - Joseph Smith, Jun

YES! YES! YES!  In fact, if your child is over 8 and you're spending more than an hour or two a day actively working with them on "school" subjects, you're doing too much. 

Kids inherently want to learn.  You really can't keep them from learning.  And they really like it when they *get* a new concept.  

Math and history are the only "subjects" we spend a lot of "teaching" time on.  Notice the quote marks....Math does tend to be learned in a vacuum, sort of separated from other subjects.  History - well, it's a story.  So for history I read them a story, and then encourage them to read other books from the library.  Science?  I cover it along with history and math, often with trip to the planetarium or the Bean Life History Museum at BYU, or one of the other wonderful museums in the area.  Since I'm in Utah, I get the joy of having many resources available through the many universities. 

The best way to teach at home, I think, is to teach them HOW TO LEARN.  The most oft heard sentences at my house are the ones where I'm encouraging them to think instead of looking to me as the fount of all knowledge.  Although I am brilliant (LOL!), I still want the kids to think for themselves.  :)

Bringing Kids to Work

I was so pleased when one of my clients invited my children to an office party today.  (We celebrate the new month and all the birthdays the first Wednesday of the month.)  I was even more pleased to see how well the kids behaved. 

Jared happily answered questions about what he likes to do, and Mercedes chatted with the women, with complete ease. 

Socialized?  My kids have great social skills.  They behaved appropriately (Mercedes did get bored, but complained quietly to me about it rather than announce it to the room at large), and they helped clean up afterward.  They interacted well with the adults present, and generally were a joy to be around.

No, I don't want to take them to work every day - but I was pleased to see that, at least occasionally, they can be trusted to behave well!

Dealing with Sick Kids and Mom's Work Schedule

Mercedes has had the flu all weekend.  Bless her heart.  She's slept all weekend long, and I've been pumping fluids (and Tylenol) into her.  She flopped on the couch most of the day. 

However, I had to go to Salt Lake to clean an office for a client.  So I hauled the kids along with me.  I'm so glad I did - the job went so much faster with their help!  Mercedes vacuumed the floors, Jared helped me polish the furniture and take out the trash, and instead of the 2 hour job it would have been, we were done in 20 minutes. I was able to get back early, get my grandson from public school, and meet with my business partner an hour before I would have without their help!

Jared diligently did his schoolwork.  Mercedes, like I said, flopped on the couch and watched Harry Potter.  But, as I said, she's not feeling well, so I didn't worry about it too much today.  If they'd gone to public school, they'd have been in Valentines Day parties all day long, anyway. 

It was nice to be able to teach - and show - them that their efforts are valuable.  This is real-life stuff here.  And that's what I want them to learn! 

Different Methods of Homeschooling

Just as every family is different, every homeschooling family uses different methods with their children.  There are rigid school-at-home-ers (wow, that's convoluted!), the eclectic homeschoolers, the unschoolers, and so forth.  There's classical homeschoolers who use A Well Trained Mind  or Charlotte Mason or A Thomas Jefferson Education as their curriculum.  There are advocates of child-led education.  I tend to use a mix.

My primary inspiration, and the book I go back to when I feel like I need to get "back on track" is A Well Trained Mind.  I do not follow it strictly.  For one thing, I am a very busy single mother - I basically have 2 jobs, one outside the home for a couple hours a day, and another that I mostly do at home.  Either way, when I'm working, I'm WORKING.  (The ex didn't understand it - part of the reason he's the ex.  Bless his heart.)  Because of all this, I have to schedule time to take an afternoon off to have a field trip with the kids, and I need my kids to be very independent workers.  I just don't have time to molly-coddle them.

Hanging out learning about nature.

Also because I work all the dang time, I'm not able to "present lessons" the same way other classical homeschoolers are able to.  History is the only "lesson" I'm able to present on a regular basis.  (We use Story of the World right now.)  I have the kids read classics that go with history, and write narrations about what they read, then correct spelling and grammar and have them re-write it correctly.

I outline for them what I expect them to do that day, and they are able to ask me questions about their assignments when I'm working my WAH job.

The wonderful part of it is that they learn quickly how to be truly self sufficient.  Mercedes is a perfectionist by nature, but by learning to ask questions and daring to make mistakes, she's learning to learn.

Jared has learned to find the answers he needs in rather *ahem* unconventional ways - he's notorious for finding Mercedes' old workbooks and then copying them.  Argh!

Because my youngest kids have never been to school, I haven't had to cope with the necessity of "de-schooling," or allowing time for them to decompress after being removed from public school.  We do have times of burn out, for them and for me, when I feel like the best thing I can do is have them play as much as possible.  We have dolls, dollhouses, K'nex, Legos, magnets - and that's a great time to do science experiments that are noisy and messy, like the Diet Coke and Mentos experiment.

If you're planning to begin homeschooling, start with the books listed above, as well as John Taylor Gatto's writings.  And feel free to ask me questions!

Worried about Homeschooling? Relax!

Really.  Relax.

We homeschooling parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves.  Society puts a fair amount of pressure on us as well.  Do our children have the social skills requisite for success?  Do they interact well with their peers?  Are they learning everything everyone else seems to think they need to know?  And....how are we going to teach them calculus?

First - remember that most learning occurs from a child-led perspective.  That doesn't mean complete parental hands-off, but it does mean that when your child shows an interest in something, let them satisfy that interest.  Are they interested in gemstones and crystals? Have them grow rock candy to see how crystals form.  Buy them some interesting rocks at a metaphysical shop.  Show them geodes, and maybe even go rock-hounding with them.

We just finished studying Galileo and Copernicus.  Jared is very interested now in the solar system, stars, and telescopes.  We'll go to the planetarium, head out to the West Desert here in Utah to look at the stars, get pictures of the planets for his room, make a mobile of the solar system.

The point here is that ... kids will learn.  All a parent really has to do is give them the tools to do it.  Homeschool doesn't necessarily mean "school at home" - and by relaxing about school, my kids have more freedom to explore what they want to learn.

Oh, and calculus?  Learn it right along with the kids, find someone who is good at it and can teach it, use a homeschool co-op, or allow them to dual-enroll with the high school or community college.  You don't have to know everything - or even very much! to homeschool effectively.

So relax!  If you're putting any effort at all into your kids' education, odds are pretty good you're going to do better than the government schools ever could

Homeschooling as a Single, Working Mother

I wondered if I would be able to continue homeschooling when I divorced my husband and needed to go back to work.  However, where there's a will, there's a way, and I continue to homeschool even through a heavy work schedule.

I'm blessed to be able to make my own schedule.  Generally, we do school in the mornings, when the kids are fresh - but I've also done it in the evening after work.  I've also asked my daughter, Krista, who is grown, to help me with the daily routine subjects, like making sure the kids read and do math daily, and then I review their work at the end of the day.  Some days, we do part in the morning and the rest in the evening. 

We do history and writing together, and I look for every opportunity to get the kids to write.  Shopping lists, journals, book reports, family newsletter.  They see me blogging and writing in my journal frequently.  Krista likes to write song lyrics, which has inspired Mercedes to write poetry as well.

I can plan a day off midweek (when everyone else is in school) to take the kids to a museum or the zoo. 

My oldest, Krista, works as my nanny.  The younger kids are very self sufficient - they've been taught to fix their own breakfast (even bacon and eggs), clean up after themselves, do the laundry - valuable life skills that will serve them well.  And I teach them routines.  They get up in the morning, get dressed to shoes, have breakfast, and start on their schoolwork without too much prodding from me. 

And that is a very big deal.

Last week of vacation (so to speak)

Mercedes arrived back home on Monday night, tired, but excited about the time she got to spend with her Grandma and Grandpa.  (Grandma and Grandpa, please send me some photos!  You too Denise!) 

We had sort of put formal school on hold while she was gone, because I didn't want to jump ahead in history without her, and Jared just wasn't into studying.  Notice that I said "formal" school.  We have a couple of hours of instruction in the mornings, and then let the kids do their own thing in the afternoon, so I can get my work done. 

Jared caught a grasshopper and made a little habitat for it in a Tupperware dish.

They have spend a couple of days with Krista, boating and playing in the sprinklers.  I try to get them worn out good during the day. 

Today, Jared evidently was over tired, so he got sent back to bed at 10:30 am.  Mercedes is in her room reading Pippi Longstocking and journaling about her trip. 

We'll resume formal school when the public schools resume as well. 

Proud Mama Moment - Laundry

This morning Jared complained that there were no clean jeans in his drawer.  (There probably were, but who knows.)  So I told him to check the dryer.  Didn't think about it again.

I came downstairs to finish getting ready for work, and what did I see? 

A basket full of clean clothes.

A newly filled dryer.

An empty washer.

Jared had moved the laundry through without being asked.  He then came to me and told me there were no dryer sheets, which was why he hadn't started it.  He sees me doing laundry every day (a la Flylady) and decided to help.  I had already taken time to teach him how to sort laundry, how to load and run the washer, and how to load and run the dryer.  (It does help that I have front loaders.)


Very, very cool.  I am so proud of him I could pop. Way to go, Jared!

(By the way - this is his self-portrait)

Don't talk to strangers?

I was just reading Lenore's blog over at Free Range Kids and was interested in the post on Stranger Danger. 

I'm a free range mom.  I parent under the belief that I am to work myself out of a job.  By the time my kids are 18 or so, they should be able to take care of themselves (and me, as I tell them!).  Because I don't hover every single stinking minute, I've taught my kids what to do when they get lost.

Find a store employee. 

Find an adult (mom or dad) with kids. 

Find a police officer or store security.

I've talked to them about people I've seen that scare me.  Not too many of those, but I've told them that when they have a bad feeling about something, pay attention.  That's their intuition warning them about something or someone.

It's a good feeling to be paged over the store's intercom because the kids got turned around in the toy section and promptly went to the checkout stand to page Mom.  It's good, because I know they know what to do in a potentially frightening situation. 

Update on Mercedes' trip

It's been quiet this week at the Harris household.  (I guess I should put Vazquez in there because my kids are surnamed Vazquez, but I'm a Harris, and as the head of the household, that stands, LOL)

Jared asked to call Mercedes last night.  She said she was waiting her turn on her grandma's trampoline, and all her cousins were there.  It sounds like she's having a blast.  I sure hope Denise is taking lots of pictures! 

I asked Jared today if he was enjoying having Mercedes gone, and he said, "Nah, I miss her." 

In the meantime we're cleaning out her room and getting part of it redecorated.  I can only manage a few things at a time, so it will be a process.  Budget's pretty tight.

And she's off.....

My baby girl.  Off to Kentucky.  Without me. 

It was hard to see her go (although she was with my sister), because this IS her first big adventure.  And this is my LAST girl.  She's somewhere in Colorado by now, most likely. 

This is going to be so good for her.  I'm excited for her and delighted that she has the opportunity to visit grandparents almost on her own. 

In the meantime, I warned her that I would declutter and clean her room, and after seeing how nice her place at her dad's is, it looks like some redecorating is in order.  (I don't have a domestic bone in my body.  I forget about stuff like that.)  I'm pretty sure I can get this done 15 minutes at a time!

Mercedes is going on her first trip!

Bless her heart!  I can't wait to be able to blog about all of this! 

My sister Denise is driving from Utah to Kentucky to visit my parents.  She's taking Mercedes with her.  Meche is a lot nervous about the trip - this is her first time away from me for more than a couple of days.  But she's with one of her favorite aunties, and with Spike.  (Spike is a Pomeranian.  He minds better than my kids.)

We're framing it as an adventure. 

Her grandparents are really looking forward to seeing her.  So are her cousins. 

She'll be gone for 2 1/2 weeks.  She's taking a book to read in the car and her school work.

What am I going to do?  She'll be fine, but I'm going to miss her terribly.

Teaching Responsibility

I got so tickled with my kids tonight.  Here's a mama brag story for you!  We got home after a long day at work/play and needed to clean the house before bed.  I'm a freak about it, because, really, that's the only time I have to clean and then I know it will be neat for a few hours.

Mercedes promptly started unloading the dishwasher, Jared took the garbage out and sorted the laundry, I handwashed a few dishes and sharp knives, and Mercedes swept and mopped the kitchen and the dining room.

Wow!

I love that spending so much time together leads to such enthusiastic kids.  They see how hard I work, and they're quick to respond with help! 

Abby Sunderland

I was listening to the radio the other day when a local DJ came on and suggested that the Sunderland family was "Balloon  Boy part 2."

Huh?

I was so tickled to hear about a 16 year old girl, with tons of experience on the ocean, whose father is a shipwright and whose older brother also captains his own yacht, attempting to circumnavigate the globe.  Yes, she ran into trouble on the Indian Ocean.  But even the most experienced sailors run into trouble from time to time.  She kept her head, did what she was trained to do, and came out just fine.

And now her parents are being attacked for "putting her in danger."  She's 16, for crying out loud.  She can get a driver license.  That's statistically a lot more dangerous than sailing around the world.

Why do we allow society to determine what's best for our kids?  I'm in favor of free range kids, where children are taught step by step how to behave, what safety rules they need to follow, with the goal of letting them fly the nest well prepared for their lives.

Too many young people today are leaving for college without a clue of how to do anything much for themselves.  Abby Sunderland is a young woman who is setting a standard of how to live your dreams, and how to behave when things do go wrong.

Her parents have done a terrific job with this young lady, and they should be justifiably proud of the way she's handling herself.