I was so pleased when one of my clients invited my children to an office party today. (We celebrate the new month and all the birthdays the first Wednesday of the month.) I was even more pleased to see how well the kids behaved.
Jared happily answered questions about what he likes to do, and Mercedes chatted with the women, with complete ease.
Socialized? My kids have great social skills. They behaved appropriately (Mercedes did get bored, but complained quietly to me about it rather than announce it to the room at large), and they helped clean up afterward. They interacted well with the adults present, and generally were a joy to be around.
No, I don't want to take them to work every day - but I was pleased to see that, at least occasionally, they can be trusted to behave well!
Showing posts with label socialization. Show all posts
Showing posts with label socialization. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
New Remarks on Socialization
I swear, if I hear one more person ask me about "socializing" my kids, I'm going to scream.
Look. When I was in school, and I tried to talk to my friends, my teacher would turn to me, fire in her eyes, and say, "You are not here to socialize, young lady! You are here to learn!"
So why do people think that homeschooled children are somehow missing out if they don't learn to stand in line? Do they think I lock them in a closet?
My kids talk to everyone. They use please, and thank you. I've taught them that the definition of being a lady/gentleman is someone who makes others comfortable in their presence. They are comfortable asking adults for assistance. They attend Church activities and Cub Scouts, walk themselves to their events (or ride their bikes), show up early to help their leaders set up and stay after to help clean up.
In a typical day, they talk to: the grocery store clerk, the librarian, an ex-cop, my business partner, all the kids in the neighborhood, their nephews, Scout leaders, Church leaders, and neighbors. Because they'll play with any kid that's reasonably nice to them, they are highly sought after playmates.
Mercedes shovels the walks for us. She's decided that with the next snow, she's going to shovel walks and driveways for some of our older neighbors (and maybe make some money at it).
You know, they get along well with nearly everyone, they know how to deal with bullies effectively, and they often help others learn to deal with challenges of friendships.
That is how I want them socialized.
No one thinks they are weird - in fact, they are remarkably well adjusted.
Of course, we all know public school never turns out strange, maladjusted children. Ever. Right? And if it does, it's obviously the school's fault.
What? It's not? You mean, kids turn out to be like their parents? What a concept.
Relax about socialization. Relax about socializing. You want your kids to manage in the real world - not just the pressure-cooker of public schools. If you take them places with you, and allow them to interact with a large variety of people - they will be fine.
Look. When I was in school, and I tried to talk to my friends, my teacher would turn to me, fire in her eyes, and say, "You are not here to socialize, young lady! You are here to learn!"
So why do people think that homeschooled children are somehow missing out if they don't learn to stand in line? Do they think I lock them in a closet?
My kids talk to everyone. They use please, and thank you. I've taught them that the definition of being a lady/gentleman is someone who makes others comfortable in their presence. They are comfortable asking adults for assistance. They attend Church activities and Cub Scouts, walk themselves to their events (or ride their bikes), show up early to help their leaders set up and stay after to help clean up.
In a typical day, they talk to: the grocery store clerk, the librarian, an ex-cop, my business partner, all the kids in the neighborhood, their nephews, Scout leaders, Church leaders, and neighbors. Because they'll play with any kid that's reasonably nice to them, they are highly sought after playmates.
Mercedes shovels the walks for us. She's decided that with the next snow, she's going to shovel walks and driveways for some of our older neighbors (and maybe make some money at it).
You know, they get along well with nearly everyone, they know how to deal with bullies effectively, and they often help others learn to deal with challenges of friendships.
That is how I want them socialized.
No one thinks they are weird - in fact, they are remarkably well adjusted.
Of course, we all know public school never turns out strange, maladjusted children. Ever. Right? And if it does, it's obviously the school's fault.
What? It's not? You mean, kids turn out to be like their parents? What a concept.
Relax about socialization. Relax about socializing. You want your kids to manage in the real world - not just the pressure-cooker of public schools. If you take them places with you, and allow them to interact with a large variety of people - they will be fine.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Worried about Homeschooling? Relax!
Really. Relax.
We homeschooling parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Society puts a fair amount of pressure on us as well. Do our children have the social skills requisite for success? Do they interact well with their peers? Are they learning everything everyone else seems to think they need to know? And....how are we going to teach them calculus?
First - remember that most learning occurs from a child-led perspective. That doesn't mean complete parental hands-off, but it does mean that when your child shows an interest in something, let them satisfy that interest. Are they interested in gemstones and crystals? Have them grow rock candy to see how crystals form. Buy them some interesting rocks at a metaphysical shop. Show them geodes, and maybe even go rock-hounding with them.
We just finished studying Galileo and Copernicus. Jared is very interested now in the solar system, stars, and telescopes. We'll go to the planetarium, head out to the West Desert here in Utah to look at the stars, get pictures of the planets for his room, make a mobile of the solar system.
The point here is that ... kids will learn. All a parent really has to do is give them the tools to do it. Homeschool doesn't necessarily mean "school at home" - and by relaxing about school, my kids have more freedom to explore what they want to learn.
Oh, and calculus? Learn it right along with the kids, find someone who is good at it and can teach it, use a homeschool co-op, or allow them to dual-enroll with the high school or community college. You don't have to know everything - or even very much! to homeschool effectively.
So relax! If you're putting any effort at all into your kids' education, odds are pretty good you're going to do better than the government schools ever could
We homeschooling parents put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Society puts a fair amount of pressure on us as well. Do our children have the social skills requisite for success? Do they interact well with their peers? Are they learning everything everyone else seems to think they need to know? And....how are we going to teach them calculus?
First - remember that most learning occurs from a child-led perspective. That doesn't mean complete parental hands-off, but it does mean that when your child shows an interest in something, let them satisfy that interest. Are they interested in gemstones and crystals? Have them grow rock candy to see how crystals form. Buy them some interesting rocks at a metaphysical shop. Show them geodes, and maybe even go rock-hounding with them.
We just finished studying Galileo and Copernicus. Jared is very interested now in the solar system, stars, and telescopes. We'll go to the planetarium, head out to the West Desert here in Utah to look at the stars, get pictures of the planets for his room, make a mobile of the solar system.
The point here is that ... kids will learn. All a parent really has to do is give them the tools to do it. Homeschool doesn't necessarily mean "school at home" - and by relaxing about school, my kids have more freedom to explore what they want to learn.
Oh, and calculus? Learn it right along with the kids, find someone who is good at it and can teach it, use a homeschool co-op, or allow them to dual-enroll with the high school or community college. You don't have to know everything - or even very much! to homeschool effectively.
So relax! If you're putting any effort at all into your kids' education, odds are pretty good you're going to do better than the government schools ever could
Monday, September 20, 2010
And people wonder why I homeschool....
On Friday evening:
Me: Son, you've gotta go to bed. Daddy will be here early in the morning to pick you up.
Jared: But, can I bring my math? I'm adding and subtracting HUNDREDS!
Me: Yes, I guess. You may also sit at your desk and do math for a while, if you want.
Jared: Oh, thank you, Mommy, thank you.
Me: (bemused) Do you like math?
Jared: Oh, yes, I love math!
He then dashed off to do math work. He's well into 2nd grade math, nearly half a grade level ahead of his peers, and reads well, too. He's competing with Mercedes to see if he can catch up with her.
And people wonder why I homeschool. What a joy to see my son loving math, enjoying music, art, and begging for a lesson in history. When else do I get to have the kids gathered around my computer looking at pictures of the planets and discussing the solar system? How many 1st and 3rd graders do you know who know Copernicus and Galileo?
Me: Son, you've gotta go to bed. Daddy will be here early in the morning to pick you up.
Jared: But, can I bring my math? I'm adding and subtracting HUNDREDS!
Me: Yes, I guess. You may also sit at your desk and do math for a while, if you want.
Jared: Oh, thank you, Mommy, thank you.
Me: (bemused) Do you like math?
Jared: Oh, yes, I love math!
He then dashed off to do math work. He's well into 2nd grade math, nearly half a grade level ahead of his peers, and reads well, too. He's competing with Mercedes to see if he can catch up with her.
And people wonder why I homeschool. What a joy to see my son loving math, enjoying music, art, and begging for a lesson in history. When else do I get to have the kids gathered around my computer looking at pictures of the planets and discussing the solar system? How many 1st and 3rd graders do you know who know Copernicus and Galileo?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
"Socialization" and homeschooling
I recently read an article by a sadly misinformed young man who seemed to think that the homeschooling movement was going to threaten our democracy because he had ONE encounter with ONE homeschooled young lady - who wasn't able to discuss different worldviews.
Well, #1, the USA isn't a democracy, it's a republic. A democracy is the rule of mob, a republic respects and safeguards the rights of the individual.
In other words, in a democracy, majority rules, and the rights of the majority override the rights of the individual. This was brought home to me in a rather explicit example: Two men. One woman. She doesn't want to have sex, they do. Majority rules, and the will of the majority overrides the will of the individual.
In a republic, however, her right to say no is explicitly respected and protected. The right of the indivudual is not subsumed into the desires of the majority. That's why we have a Constitution that is supposed to protect our rights, that's why we have the Electoral College.
We don't live in a democracy here, so I'm not at all worried about homeschooling causing damage to the democracy.
Further, homeschooled students have a greater range of friends and aquaintances than their schooled peers. They are regularly exposed to different worldviews and different ways of living.
Schooled kids can't get that kind of exposure. They can talk about it, but we actually are out doing it.
Besides, when I was in school, I was told I wasn't there to socialize - I was there to be taught.
Homeschooled kids tend to have better social skills than their publicly schooled peers. I had to laugh when I was talking to some friends who work at a car repair shop. We were waiting for my car to get done, and my friend told me she was amazed at how well behaved my kids were. They were respectful to her, they said please and thank you, and they cleaned up after themselves.
That's the kind of social skills society is sadly lacking these days.
Well, #1, the USA isn't a democracy, it's a republic. A democracy is the rule of mob, a republic respects and safeguards the rights of the individual.
In other words, in a democracy, majority rules, and the rights of the majority override the rights of the individual. This was brought home to me in a rather explicit example: Two men. One woman. She doesn't want to have sex, they do. Majority rules, and the will of the majority overrides the will of the individual.
In a republic, however, her right to say no is explicitly respected and protected. The right of the indivudual is not subsumed into the desires of the majority. That's why we have a Constitution that is supposed to protect our rights, that's why we have the Electoral College.
We don't live in a democracy here, so I'm not at all worried about homeschooling causing damage to the democracy.
Further, homeschooled students have a greater range of friends and aquaintances than their schooled peers. They are regularly exposed to different worldviews and different ways of living.
Schooled kids can't get that kind of exposure. They can talk about it, but we actually are out doing it.
Besides, when I was in school, I was told I wasn't there to socialize - I was there to be taught.
Homeschooled kids tend to have better social skills than their publicly schooled peers. I had to laugh when I was talking to some friends who work at a car repair shop. We were waiting for my car to get done, and my friend told me she was amazed at how well behaved my kids were. They were respectful to her, they said please and thank you, and they cleaned up after themselves.
That's the kind of social skills society is sadly lacking these days.
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