This Is My Joy!

What joy it is to see my kids learning!  Yesterday, I caught Mercedes helping Jared with his math work.  They were sitting on the couch, and she was teaching him.  Not only are they learning math, but they are developing a relationship that will last for a lifetime and beyond. 

Of course, this was after I was helping her figure out a problem that involved figuring out how many cookies were eaten at a party.  There were 8 boxes of 12 cookies brought.  How many were brought?  Her answer: "8 dozen."  Can you tell she likes to bake?  LOL!

I am so excited as history progresses.  We are reaching the important developments that lead to the American Revolution.  They are enjoying their reading, which excites me to no end.  I keep telling them there is so much to learn, so much to figure out, so much to find! 

Bringing Kids to Work

I was so pleased when one of my clients invited my children to an office party today.  (We celebrate the new month and all the birthdays the first Wednesday of the month.)  I was even more pleased to see how well the kids behaved. 

Jared happily answered questions about what he likes to do, and Mercedes chatted with the women, with complete ease. 

Socialized?  My kids have great social skills.  They behaved appropriately (Mercedes did get bored, but complained quietly to me about it rather than announce it to the room at large), and they helped clean up afterward.  They interacted well with the adults present, and generally were a joy to be around.

No, I don't want to take them to work every day - but I was pleased to see that, at least occasionally, they can be trusted to behave well!

New Remarks on Socialization

I swear, if I hear one more person ask me about "socializing" my kids, I'm going to scream.

Look.  When I was in school, and I tried to talk to my friends, my teacher would turn to me, fire in her eyes, and say, "You are not here to socialize, young lady!  You are here to learn!"

So why do people think that homeschooled children are somehow missing out if they don't learn to stand in line?  Do they think I lock them in a closet?

My kids talk to everyone.  They use please, and thank you.  I've taught them that the definition of being a lady/gentleman is someone who makes others comfortable in their presence.  They are comfortable asking adults for assistance.  They attend Church activities and Cub Scouts, walk themselves to their events (or ride their bikes), show up early to help their leaders set up and stay after to help clean up. 

In a typical day, they talk to: the grocery store clerk, the librarian, an ex-cop, my business partner, all the kids in the neighborhood, their nephews, Scout leaders, Church leaders, and neighbors.  Because they'll play with any kid that's reasonably nice to them, they are highly sought after playmates.

Mercedes shovels the walks for us.  She's decided that with the next snow, she's going to shovel walks and driveways for some of our older neighbors (and maybe make some money at it). 

You know, they get along well with nearly everyone, they know how to deal with bullies effectively, and they often help others learn to deal with challenges of friendships.

That is how I want them socialized. 

No one thinks they are weird - in fact, they are remarkably well adjusted. 

Of course, we all know public school never turns out strange, maladjusted children.  Ever.  Right?  And if it does, it's obviously the school's fault.

What?  It's not?  You mean, kids turn out to be like their parents?  What a concept.

Relax about socialization.  Relax about socializing.  You want your kids to manage in the real world - not just the pressure-cooker of public schools.  If you take them places with you, and allow them to interact with a large variety of people - they will be fine.

Releasing Perfectionism

Mercedes has been my "difficult" child during our homeschooling.  A classic Taurus, she thinks that everything she does needs to be done perfectly.  So she puts a lot of pressure on herself to do her schoolwork perfectly the first time.

I kept trying to explain to her that I didn't mind her making mistakes - everyone makes them - I just wanted her to learn from them.  She wouldn't write because she's a "creative" speller - ie, she spells like my dad.  I wanted her to get her thoughts on paper, and then we would correct spelling later.

Finally, today, she brought me her narration on Heidi that she wrote.  I corrected her spelling and asked her to re-write it with the correct spelling, grammar and punctuation - and praised her to the skies for just doing it.  Same thing with her math. I explained what she did right (she set up the problems correctly) and what she did wrong (forgot to borrow/carry).  She left to do her work beaming. 

I reminded her of one of my favorite lines from my favorite movie, Meet the Robinsons - "From failure, you learn.  From success, not so much."

Don't be afraid to make mistakes.  The only time mistakes = failure is when you fail to learn from them.

Creating Closeness

One of the reasons I choose to homeschool my children is to create a much closer relationship with them than I had with my older three.  My kids are closer to each other and to me. 

It's hard NOT to be close to the kids when I'm their mother, their teacher, their chauffeur.... Because I'm the one that's always there, I'm the one they turn to all the time. 

I also make a point of being emotionally available.  Well, as far as I can be (I tend to be rather distant).  When the kids need my attention, I try to give them my full attention and take care of them.  The result is a much closer relationship than many families have. 

Of course, I'm always open for ideas to create even more closeness.  I love my kiddos and I love teaching them.  It brings me such joy!